What happens when you hit the wall at the same time that you get a hurricane and it's the 4th of July...

Well, you end up spending the day finally digging your way out of the mess that is your house, alternately yelling and stomping at everyone around you…
then you feel like you're going to collapse from exhaustion…
then you feel guilty for not doing a single thing with your kids to celebrate Independence Day…
then you just drink wine to make the edges fuzzy.
I'm battling epic exhaustion from lack of sleep, frustration at the kids for selective hearing, irritation at life for my food allergy battles, burnout from homeschooling and finally…annoyance that I haven't done a better job training my entire family to work together more diligently so I DON'T FEEL LIKE A FREAKING MAID/BUTLER/CHAUFFEUR/SOCIAL DIRECTOR/SHORT ORDER COOK.
I am seriously so burned out at this point that I could sleep for a week.
And yes, I know how blessed I am to have FIVE healthy children.
Yes, I know how lucky I am to have such a fantastic husband.
Yes, I am aware that I am privileged to have a roof over my head and food on my table.
Yes, I know that all of the things I am frustrated over may seem trivial to some of you.
HOWEVER, they aren't trivial to me.  It's my life and sometimes I'm just SO tired…I know tomorrow is a new day and I'll (hopefully) be more rested and less cranky.
Until then?   More wine, more chocolate and, hopefully, MORE SLEEP.

I found this on an old Facebook page...

and it made me laugh…but it also reminded me of some of what I sort of "forgot" in the last 5 years…So, I'm republishing as a reminder!  LOL

1. I have 7 more tattoos than my husband and I would love to get more, but am not sure if I'm just too mommified. 

2. It drives my hubby crazy that I have more tattoos and he keeps insisting it's his turn. 

3. I always thought I'd have 3 kids, but for years said I'd get preggers with twins on #3. WELL GUESS WHAT... I was right! 

4. I knew on the first date that I would marry Charles and I told my Mom that the next day. Thank the Lord I was right, because I won the husband lottery! 

5. My favorite place to live, EVER, was Okinawa, Japan. I still miss it and my friends from there desperately. I think we all thought we'd be together forever. I love you, my Oki pals. 

6. I have the best siblings ever. We are a rockin' sibling unit and I can't imagine my life without their love and support. 

7. I have COOL parents. I actually love to party WITH them. 

8. I have not lived anywhere longer than 2 years and 11 months since I joined the Marine Corps. 

9. NO ONE thought I'd make it through Marine Corps bootcamp, let alone be really good at it. I showed them, good! Once a Marine, Always a Marine.

10. I'm so TYPE A that I alphabetize my spices, organize my closet by color, length, sleeves, etc..... I could go on and on, but if you look up TYPE A in the dictionary, you'll see my pic right next to Michelle's picture and Kristina's picture. 

11. It stresses me out to have to give my kids non organic food. And most of my family thinks it's crazy for me to be so anal about their food. My Dad fears my tree-huggerness. 

12. I use cloth diapers on 3 of my kids and NO I am not crazy. 

13. I've been singing for 23 years and I am still terrified of doing it in front of people. (Unless they are under 3 feet tall and still poop and pee in their pants.) 

14. I named my son after my great grandfather and my Dad. I think my Dad is the best and I wanted him to know it! 

15. I hate pantyhose and refuse to wear them, ever. Hell for me would be pantyhose and people that dress badly. 

16. I named my daughter Mercy because I believe I am blessed by the mercy of the Lord and my children are my testimony. 

17. I think UGGS are the best thing ever invented, even if they are obnoxiously ugly and I am sure I will be the only Mom in Jacksonville, NC who wears UGGS, give her kid organic food and uses cloth diapers. 

18. I get VERY upset when people mess with my family and close friends and have been known to be downright ugly about it. I AM very PROTECTIVE of the people I love. 

19. I have a blog about my family and it saves me from the hell of scrapbooking. Of course, my kids might be embarassed when they grow up, but oh well. That's my job! 

20. I still miss being in the Marine Corps sometimes. 

21. My friend Nicole and I talk in weird accents when we are on the phone and my sister and I call each other bizarre names. I guess growing up is still a ways off for me. 

22. I drive a minivan with leopard print floor mats. I am NOT a soccer mom, I'm a rockin' mom! 

23. I have a problem with shopping. Duh. 

24. I love to sew but never have time and patterns confuse the crap out of me. 

25. There are several years I don't remember. Thank you Jose Cuervo.

For tired young mothers of many...

like me.  I read this post and the waterworks just spewed forth...What a gift and a true reminder that although this too shall pass, please don't let it pass to quickly...Already my big girl double digits and my baby talks in sentences, my in betweens are changing every day and the years just race by at the speed of snuggles & laundry, meals and clean up, school and holidays.  Read & enjoy, my friends.  Slow down the race and enjoy the walk.
Click the link below & grab your tissues!

For tired young mothers of many

This is not what I had in mind for my last weekend of 2012...

the stupid, stinky, icky, shivery, stuffy, sinus killing, FLU.  

Last night my bloody teeth ached so badly that I could have sworn one of those annoying little keebler elves was wedged firmly in mouth with a tiny sledgehammer, wacking away...ah, the joys of intense SINUS pressure.  Thanks, little germ.  Apparently it's not enough that Charley spent 2 days throwing up, 3 days with a fever and 3 days sleeping half the day away...it's not enough that Mercy sounds like a 75 year old smoker in a tiny body...it's not enough that poor Sammy puked up his entire breakfast on me yesterday... STUPID LITTLE GERM.   

Here's my toast to the New Year.  

GO AWAY LITTLE GREEN GERM.  

I love rainy Saturdays...

or any rainy day at all. Now and forever.

Most people think Southern California has perfect weather...

sunny...

70 - 80 degrees...

dry....

no rain...

NO RAIN...

no thunderstorms...

NO THUNDERSTORMS...

it was torture. (save for the Nordstrom's a mere 20 minutes away...and Baja Fresh, oh and Rubios, and let's not forget In-n-Out Burger...I digress.)

For a weather-phile, such as myself...

There is something amazingly comforting about waking up to...

skies drenched in the color of putty,

grass soaked in the droplets of the tears of God,

trees swaying in His breath,

quiet, save for the sound of the laughter of my children.

My greatest gift.

Pet peeves...

well, since I'm on a roll and published FIVE, count 'em, FIVE posts to our family blog, I figured I'd go for an even 6 and be a complete smart *ss on this one.

Here it is, peeps.  My top ten pet peeves for the year 2012.

1.  "Who is this?" responses to group texts.
Why? you ask?  BECAUSE if you just look at the bloody "from" line, you'll see that a whole mess of people recieved the message and chances are some of the people that respond will be people you DON'T KNOW.  Get over it.  (Jeff, this was for you.  LOL)

2.  Rude shoppers.
What, you ask, is a rude shopper?  It is a person or persons who walks right in front of you without having the *bleeping* courtesy to acknowledge your existence, much less say "excuse me."  Clearly, some people just have NO manners.  (And since I have drilled manners into my children since they were BORN, I am clearly NOT one of those people.)

3.  Unreturned phone calls from professionals.
IF you are a professional who advertises a service and I leave you a message requesting a return call regarding something I wish to have done, CALL ME BACK.  Even if you don't want to do the work for me, CALL ME BACK.  It's rude and unprofessional, therefore it makes you NOT good at your job.  And I promise, although I will tell A LOT of people if you are good, I will tell even more if you are RUDE.

4.  Appliance repair people who don't bother to show up or call, then act surprised when you are completely P.O.'ed.  Enough said.

5.  The School Nazi.
The majority of my friends outside the homeschool community are teachers.  If they don't questions my decision and fully support it, what gives you, random stranger, the right to question it.  Bugger off!

6.  The Big Family Nazi.
Not everyone in America wants or wanted 2 or 3 kids.  Some of us are crazy enough to have a few more.  Yes, we know how it happens, yes we love our kids, yes we are done, NO it's not any of your business.  And yes, I would have had more if I wasn't so ADVANCED in my maternal age.  (another pet peeve...)

7.  Rude salesclerks/customer service people/receptionists.
It's your job, you are not doing me a favor and I am not a pain in your patoot.  DO YOUR JOB WITH A SMILE.

8.  Verizon Wireless.
Enough said.

9.  My dad's complete and utter lack of computer and smartphone literacy.
I love ya, Dad, but seriously, you are the smartest person I know and that little phone/computer just beats you every time!

10. My inability to be so organized that I pee on a schedule.
Quite frankly, it's just annoying that I have to interrupt my day to pee.  I'm far too busy for that and it would be much easier if I could just schedule in potty time and stick to it.

Once again...I am here for your entertainment!

Merry Christmas!!
Tiff

Birthdays should not make you cry...

but this one does.

I got pregnant with the M-n-M's a little less than a year after our son died in my belly.

That little stick made a plus so quick...I knew something was different this time.

An ultrasound at SIX weeks....the tech says, "both babies look great!"

I'm sorry..."WHAT?"

Six weeks later I'm sobbing in my driveway as I say good-bye to my husband.

By the time he comes home I'm so big I can't sleep, eat or breathe. But there are 2 healthy babies in my belly, just waiting to meet their daddy & mommy & sisters.

By the skin of their (as yet non existent) teeth & one mommy meltdown, they meet Daddy just 5 days before he leaves again.

A move to Maryland when they were 4 months old....

one busy daddy, one stressed mommy...one lonely Charley...one sweet Eva...and 2 very sweet babies.

3 more moves, 1 more sweet baby, 1 more deployment...

and those 2 surprises are 3. years. old.

And I'm crying because all I want for their birthday is for my Marine to jump out of a damn box somewhere. I want to feel his arms around me, see his entire face light up when he sees our children, I just want to hear him sing them Happy Birthday. I just want to see the unbridled joy on their faces when they see their Daddy.

And I know I can't give them what they really want for their birthday. I can only give them as much love and snuggles as my heart will hold. I can thank God for the sweetness of my Eva & Charley... who have been making cards all week...planning parties...imagining gifts...wishing for Daddy. And just making Mommy feel like they've got it all under control.

Which is really good. Because I absolutely don't. I just want to postpone the whole thing until the other half of this unit is safely home on American soil.

My husband is my heart, my soul, my anchor and my best friend. And I just can't imagine celebrating 2 of our miracles without him.

But I will. Because I do. Because we all do. Military wives. It's what we do. We just have to keep going forward...knowing that eventually the other half of our hearts will be home. We just wish, with every fiber of our being...that it was right now. this moment.

Charles....we miss you and we can't wait to celebrate all that we've missed...with you. Because there is no other way to celebrate. Not without you.

In 9 minutes, our twins will be 3. No longer babies...not quite big kids...but in the sweetest, softest, smooshiest stage ever.

I cannot wait for you to see them. Hurry home, love, hurry home.

love,

clanmacmama