Ah, I bet you are sitting at your computer, hunched over like the rest of us with the terrible posture that would make my Nana poke you in the back...wondering why on earth you should read my ramblings. I've got only one answer for you...in view of the fact that I happen to be a bit of a wackadoo, my musings can be your evidence that you are completely normal, thus relieving you of the fear that you have gone loco. Leave that part to me. Oh, and I love to use the thesaurus, as I have an affinity for elocution and a deep seated, albeit odd obsession with grandiose language.
So dig in and be prepared...

Friday, March 11, 2011

8 things to never say to a homeschooling mom...

1. Oh. Aren't you worried your kids will be weird?
Uh, no. Aren't you worried your foot will never come out of your mouth?

2. Oh. I could NEVER homeschool my kids, I'd just go crazy.
Um. What exactly is it you're trying to imply? Actually, I am certifiable, so I'm already there.

3. Wow, you're a better person than me! I'd kill my kids if I had to spend all day with them.
Well..... I do want to kill them some of the time. I just drink a lot of wine... Ok?

4. What, did you think you could do a better job than all those teachers?
I AM a teacher, thanks. Who do you think taught all these kids to eat, sleep, play, pray, and NOT act like they were raised by wolves? And by the way, have you taken a look at my college transcripts? The ones that have straight A's, multiple scholarships and published scientific articles and creative writing awards? Stuff it, smarty pants.

5. What, exactly, do you do all day?
Teach my kids. duh. Well, that and wipe butts, clean stuff, cook, run errands, drive the Mom's taxi, yell, read...

6. Are you one of those God freaks?
Sure am. Gosh, are you one of those satan freaks damned to eternal hell? Let me know what it's like there in your firepit.

7. Do you get a big tax break for that?
Nope. Why don't you write to your congressman and our esteemed leadership and let them know we wouldn't need one if they'd quite wrecking our school systems with their ridiculous "accountability" legislation, budget cuts and all the other things I think stink.

Are you CRAZY?
I believe I already addressed that one. You betcha. Just ask my husband, Kristina and Cassie. They'll vouch that I'm wacko.

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